Building character starts with heart

In a recent NY Times Op-Ed, The Building Blocks of Learning, David Brooks says, "Education is one of those spheres where the heart is inseparable from the head."

Good educators know this and it is an unspoken rule in a successful classroom - the teacher pours time, love and attention into the child and the child deeply desires to be worthy of that caring and attention.  This bond is what develops character in a child.

As independent school educators, we secretly scoff at the public discussion about character in schools.  You've seen the programs - the "Character Trait of the Week".  Does that actually build character?

What does build character are qualities that are inherent in the culture of the school - the very essence of the daily experience.  It should be intentional - as much as we can make it so.  At our school it comes in the form of a commitment to intrinsic goals and to a balanced set of values.  It is stated in our motto, our mission, our values and our statement of diversity.  It is practiced through many interactions between teachers and students, discussions among faculty and administrators, and much self-evaluation.

One of our administrative goals this year is to examine our culture of compassion. What does it mean?  Are we modelling it?

Checking in with students is one way to assess whether they are absorbing the character traits we strive to build in them.  In a recent conversation about how kids prepare to succeed in high school, a seventh grader told me, "Here, learning is fun.  When we get to high school we don't have to learn how to be motivated and work hard, because we already know that.  We have some freedom here and so we know how to handle ourselves."

I think she nailed it pretty well.  Intrinsic motivation, taking responsibility, confidence, loving to learn - these are  many of the most important things we can teach.  They don't come from the character trait of the week - they are addressed through the heart, and are woven throughout the life of the school.

Teaching for Character

How do we teach character traits?  This is an interesting question. I see it play out so well in our independent schools and not necessarily so well in public schools - and why is that?

This article in Atlantic, How Kids Learn Resilience,  really tries to get at why it's so hard to teach character in public schools.  Part of the problem, the author says, lies in the things that children have learned from a young age at home - that set them up for success or failure early on, and part lies in the way our public schools typically reward and punish children and how ineffective that method is.

It is true that we are a self-selecting group in many ways in independent schools, with children who are already skewed to success - with the right kind of support at home to give them the tools for their future success.  But I believe that at Parker, it is how we teach - and how we create a school culture - that is the difference maker when our results are compared with public schools - and even with other, less effective independent schools.

Last night was Project Night at Parker.  In Pre K, children's sculpture, painting, narrated books and treasured art, were on display along with a slide show of their year of exploration and discovery.  Jump down the hall to the gym, where our 8th grade students were giving their thesis presentations.  This is a clear illustration of the "bookends" of a Parker education.

The autonomy, the fun and the exploratory nature of the Pre K leads directly to the ability of 13-year-olds to stand in front of an audience and succinctly and with passion, defend their reasoning about complex social justice issues that they chose to delve into - Gun Control, Racial Profiling, the Death Penalty, to name a few.  The poise and confidence, the underlying resilience and perseverance to research and write a 15 - 20 page paper, and the intellectual and public-speaking chops that it took to accomplish the presentations is a testament to effective school culture.  It is not an accident that Parker students can do this.

It is the result of giving students autonomy, support, and space to explore (and "fail").  It is the product of critique, self-evaluation and real responsibility.  Students will be more likely to display positive academic habits when they are in an environment where they feel a sense of belonging, independence and growth is how Paul Tough puts it in the Atlantic article.  It is the antithesis of traditional reward and punishment systems.  It is beautiful to see.

Not lost in translation

This year we admitted our first student from abroad - Xingtao Liu from China. It has been an amazing year from the perspective of all of our students, our teachers, the host family, and of course, Xingtao himself.

Xingtao's grasp of English has become nuanced and deep.  He has become a full part of his host family's life and the community of the school.  Xingtao told his host parents in his Student-Led Conference that he had learned everything in more depth this year.

This morning, he was part of the Skype interview with a candidate from China for next year's 7th grade.  Xingtao and the interviewee conversed in both Mandarin and English (and then he translated for Laura, our admission director and me.)  We asked Xingtao to describe his experiences here to the student on the computer screen, which he did in lilting Chinese.  We asked him to translate what he had said.

"Chinese education and American education are different.  In China it's more about skills. Here at Parker it's more about the personality.  You learn how to be a person."

Kids need adventure

All right - we won't go quite as far as creating The Land as described in The Atlantic's article The Overprotected Kid.  But our Planet Parker Summer Program has elements of crazy - and that's why kids love it.  The new brochure is here.  Sign your kids up today for some old fashioned adventures!

 

What makes kids smarter?

6-7's turn a study of sound waves into a jam band of wacky self-made instruments.

If you do nothing else today, read Eight Ways of Looking at Intelligence by Annie Murphy Paul in MindShift.  The article talks about having a different mindset about what can make us smarter: relationships, expertise, even our bodies. 

Great news for us at Parker - I love it when science catches up with what we are doing here.  Daily we watch as children's intellects grow within an environment that values and cultivates friendships, deep learning, lots of movement, and self-regulation. 

This year we watched a reluctant third grade writer, because he believed he could do it, achieve his goal to pen five essays for one Show of Work, and then go on to teach his class how to create a PowerPoint.  We listened to an eighth grader, who as a fifth grader wouldn't walk through the math room door, tell with pride how because of the belief of her math teacher she came to believe in herself.

...a feeling of belonging is critical to the full expression of students’ ability and intelligence.  These eight ways to look at intelligence are a powerful lens for our school's mission to inspire curiosity and a passion to achieve.

Connection and friendship

St. Peter's students and their Parker hosts were sad to part on Sunday!

Our recent week-long cultural interchange with ten students and two teachers from St. Peter's School in Barcelona gave us all new friendships and perspectives, and a very warm, good feeling.  There was hardly a dry eye (students and parents alike!) when they had to leave on Sunday. 

In Barbara Fredrickson's NY Times article Your Phone vs. Your Heart, she describes the connection between head and heart, reminding us that social interaction with others increases our capacity for connection, friendship and empathy.

"When you share a smile or laugh with someone face to face, a discernible synchrony emerges between you, as your gestures and biochemistries, even your respective neural firings, come to mirror each other," she says.

That's what the week was really about - the connections we made.  Everyone remarked about it all week as we smiled and felt happy with refreshed empathy and understanding.  Our hearts were full.  Lucky for us, connecting with others does good and feels good, as the article says.

Thank you to all the teachers, parents and students from both sides of the Atlantic who made this wonderful week a reality!

The human experience

Murry Jaros visited Parker yesterday and told his incredibly moving story of surviving during the Holocaust.  His wonderful gift to us was sharing his very personal and painful memories and also telling us about developing an iron will to survive at a young age.  Combined with hearing Francis Currey last week tell about his experiences leading to receiving the Medal of Honor, our middle school students have learned from these two people so much about life in 1944 and 1945 in Europe during World War II - and about what young people are capable of when faced with harrowing challenges. 

In an interview about his career as a history writer, author David McCullough says, "To write or understand history, you must try as best you can to put yourself in the shoes of those who lived in those other times... And in the end, it's the story that counts. I believe we need stories. They're an essential part of the human experience."

The stories told by Francis Currey and Murry Jaros brought the past to life at Parker.  It was our privilege to hear and is our responsibility to remember.

Can altruism be taught?

Parker middle schoolers sort items at the Regional Food Bank of Northeastern New York.

Making bowl selections at the Empty Bowls hunger awareness evening last week.  8th graders organized the event and raised over $1,150 for Joseph's House, a homeless shelter in Troy.

Developing empathy, sympathy, compassion, kindness and charity is a process that takes lots of practice.  Offering opportunities for children to do good, to "see themselves and frame their own behavior as generous, kind, and helpful" is critical.

For the last four weeks, the whole middle school has gone to the Regional Food Bank on Friday afternoons to do what ever needs doing there: sorting rotten from good cucumbers or organizing boxes of toiletries.  It is truly "hands-on" and it helps them understand the massive logistics of  ameliorating local hunger.  It gives them practice in what we hope will be a life-long habit of helping others. 

What is their reward? As I used to tell my own children, "Your reward is the satisfaction of a job well done."  Research shows that material reinforcement is not the most effective way to stimulate generosity - it's the "warm glow" that works.  In the New York Times article, Understanding How Children Develop Empathy, Perry Klaus, MD, tells about the brain chemistry that makes this so.

Quite amazing

I just got a note from Jennifer Bryan who worked with us last year on gender identity issues.  She was thought provoking and wise - and gave us so much good food for thought and action.  Mark Merrett, Susie's husband, made a film last year when Jennifer was here.  Jennifer just re-watched it and said,  

"The film reminded me that the students at Parker really are quite amazing. I love listening to those 8th graders who are already bringing such important skills to their understanding of the world. I felt proud watching the film; you must feel proud every day about the great work you and the teachers are doing at Parker."

Here is the film:

More on character

 Paul Tough argues in his new book that the qualities that predict success are not high scores on tests from preschool to the SAT's, but skills that have more to do with character: perseverance, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism and self-control.  You can read more about his ideas in this NPR article, Children Succeed with Character, Not Test Scores.

Character

There are so many things I think about as I post these pictures from the past week.  Mainly they involve character and how Parker develops students with particular traits.

Parker kids retain their enthusiasm and humor on the soccer field - for them it's about camaraderie and heart, not about the score.  They gain responsibility and joy from their Buddy relationships.  Look in the fourth picture: the 2-3's were negotiating how to accomplish a challenge in Phys ed.  They were able to voice several ideas and decide which one to go with - then go back to the drawing board to try a second time.  They can successfully work together in groups, sharing equipment and ideas.  They are respectful and accepting and excited for each other's successes.

A Parker graduate came to visit the other day - he popped right back into Language Arts class and shared his ideas about a story the class is reading.  The room was filled with the give and take of ideas, sometimes conflicting and often one person's ideas changed the thinking of another, a sign of skilled persuasion and also of intellectual maturity.  This student then spent an hour in the 2-3 class writing a poem with his former buddy.

Giving, passionate, lively, creative - that is a Parker kid.